i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As shirtless as possible
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
