So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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