I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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