called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
