You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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