i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
