Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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