I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
