i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
