I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
