You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
