I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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