i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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