you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
