I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
