I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
