i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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