If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize