if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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