Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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