My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize