Got a toothbrush?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
