Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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