john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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