She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
