hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
