hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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