My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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