dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This toilet bowl is my home.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
