that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
