she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
