The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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