she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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