I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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