Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
