If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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