I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
