Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
