he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
