No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize