i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
