I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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