just tell him i said nine months
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
