Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
