Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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