i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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