Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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