Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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