come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
