you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
