"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
