Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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