dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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