Soap is not a condiment
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
