i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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