omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
