The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
