I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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