evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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