You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Randomize