There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
