phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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