can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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