Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
false alarm. still invincible.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
