i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and she was petting her beer can
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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